Many people that I have talked to
throughout the years are on the lookout and in search for solutions,
prescriptions, and things to do to improve their current mental health
situation. I often share this wonderful tool, which proved very helpful to many
of my clients. Now, here is a caveat. In order for this tool to be helpful it
has to be learned, practiced, and then used. It seems obvious. However, folks
often forget this banal truth and expect the tool to work just because they
read about it and maybe did it once.
Calming or safe place visualization is a tool that is helpful in
managing anxiety, dealing with stress, re-establishing sense of safety after
painful and traumatic experiences, and improving mood.
This is how it works:
1. Identify a place that seems calming
to you. It may be a natural scene, like an ocean beach or a meadow. It may be a
man-made place, like a house or a room or a cave. It may be real, such as a
cabin you visited in the past, or completely imaginary, such as a yurt on a
faraway star. There are two very important considerations, when you work on
identifying the calming place:
a. Nothing remotely negative has ever
happened there. For example, often people choose their former room in the
childhood house. This place maybe associated with a lot of positive memories
and experiences. However, for most folks something not that pleasant probably
happened in that room as well. Maybe they were punished and isolated there at
one point or had a fight with their friend or a sibling there. In those kinds
of situations, the place can be easily “contaminated” by not so pleasant and
relaxing feelings stemming from the past memories.
b. The image of the place makes you feel
good, such as calm, relaxed, joyful, safe and so forth. If this is not the
case, choose a different place or a different image.
2. Give this place a name, so that you
can pull it up in your mind easily. I suggest that the name is simple but
specific. For example, “Blue condo on the beach” or “Moon cave” or “Eagle
Mountain”. It is again important that this name has only positive or neutral
associations in your mind.
3. After you identified a place and gave
it a name, you are ready for visualization. Recording posted in this post will
lead you through further developing and strengthening this place in your mind.
It is 11-12 minutes long. I suggest that you listen to it during the time when
you are not likely to be interrupted.
4. Once you listened to the recording
several times in the course of several days or a week, you are ready to start
practicing without the recording. I suggest taking few minutes every day to
imagine that you are in that calming place, while breathing deeply and
relaxing. The best times to practice are the following: just before you fall
asleep in the evening and the first thing after you wake up in the morning.
Practicing daily for a week will strengthen the image and its association to
relaxation response.
5. After a week of practicing during
generally calm times, you can start using this image to cope with stressful
situations. Say you are in a stressful meeting at work and feeling so
frustrated that you are ready to pull your hair out. Allow yourself to withdraw
from discussion for a few moments. Take a mental pause, recall the name of your
calming place, and imagine that you are there. Breathe deeply as your mind is
relaxing into the image of that place. When you are ready or need to leave the
calming place, remind yourself that you can come back anytime. Leave the place
in your imagination and bring focus of your attention back to the meeting.
Relaxing place is a wonderful coping
tool if used on the regular basis. Take any opportunity to practice the safe
place, such as standing in line at the grocery store, stopping your car at the
red light, being put on hold during a phone conversation, during a tense
conversation and so forth.
Let me know what experiences you had
with this tool and whether you have any questions or concerns about it.
