Sunday, November 13, 2016

Dealing with post election emotions and concerns



     Now that the next president has been elected, you may be left with all kinds of concerns and fears around it. I personally am concerned. I am concerned for myself as a female and an immigrant, for my family, and for multiple friends, clients, colleagues and just people, who do not fit into the category of the white straight able-bodied and wealthy enough male. So, if you have concerns and fears, please, know that you are not alone. And, keep reading further.
     I do not have any political solutions in mind. However, I would like to offer a few thoughts on coping with post-election distress. First of all, it is important to acknowledge and validate your feelings. No matter what they are or how different they are from those experienced by others, you have the right to feel the way you do. I have been reading and hearing a lot form the folks that voted for the president-elect that I and others, who are upset need to get over it, accept the results, and stop being angry. I DO NOT believe this rhetoric, and I do not think that it is healthy to suppress your feelings and “move on”. Instead, I encourage you to express your feelings and your thoughts in healthy ways.
     So, the second suggestion that I have is to search for and find ways to express your feelings and moreover, use energy of your distress in a meaningful and constructive way. You may ask how do I do this? The options are limitless. Here are just a few ideas. Writing about your feelings or expressing them in any kind of creative format may help further understand and process your reactions.  It often helps to talk to the SUPPORTIVE and SAFE others about your feelings and concerns. Many people told me that since November 8 they have not been sure who is safe and who is supportive.
I understand that. Here are some ways to identify safe and supportive people in your life: 1) read their social media posts since election and notice if there is a rhetoric of inclusiveness, support for minorities, and desire to advocate for oppressed and less fortunate; if the answer is yes, they are probably safe; 2) look for people wearing safety pins; #safetypin action has taken off around the country; if you see a person wearing a safety pin, ask them what it is about. I myself am wearing a safety pin. By doing this I have committed to support and advocate for minorities anywhere I go and to stand against discrimination and bigotry. I will continue to hold safe space for you in our work together, as I have been doing prior to the elections. You can bring ANY issues and concerns to my office, and I promise to not only suspend my judgment and listen, as I always have, but also to advocate for you and help you find safe places in your life.
     If you would like to put energy of your anger, disgust, fear, distress and so forth to good use, look for different social causes and movements that make sense to you. Since November 8, multiple campaigns and movements have started organizing. For example, there is all-inclusive “Women’s March on DC” being organized and planned in every corner of the country right now. It is scheduled for January 21, 2017, the day after president-elect’s inauguration. You can join your local chapter and work with like-minded others and/or march in DC or locally in support of the human rights and advocating for the minority groups. There is “Love Trumps Hate” and “Let Love Conquer”.  I have seen people donating in the names of president-elect and vice-president-elect to all kinds of organizations and groups that have been ostracized during election season. Here is a list of different organizations representing and fighting for marginalized groups:
You may choose to be-friend others from particularly vulnerable minority groups, such as people of Muslim faith or LGBTQ individuals.
     Third, during times like this self-care is even more important. So, remember to be nice to yourself by soothing your worried and young parts by things like positive loving affirmations, essential aroma oils of lavender  and sweet orange, being in nature, listening to calming music, hugs from self and others, and LOTS OF SELF-COMPASSION. Also, take good care of your body through good night sleep, walking, exercising, eating healthy food and drinking lots of water.
     Finally, being with SUPPORTIVE OTHERS and finding a community you feel safe with is as important as ever. No one can do it alone. If none of your friends or family members can understand and appreciate your concerns, join Love Trumps Hate group on facebook, come to one of their local events, and connect to those who are willing to listen and understand. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU.
With lots of love and compassion